Hot-tober 2014 Too Much Too Little Too Late

Changing Of The Guards

Wow, it is already October; it feels more like Hot-tober.  Typical Texas weather:  fall-like for a few days, rainy a few days then summer-like in between all the other days…somehow the math will end up to equal 7 days as the sum.  It has been 2 months since the chorus has re-convened and WOW, all of the sections have thinned out. As I accepted a new role within the chorus, I felt like President Obama – people began to #JumpShip under my helm.  I quickly stifled all worries and doubts then I prayed because there is a quote in Philippians 4:6 which reads:

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

I did just that - PRAYED however being human and I brought my concerns to the more tenured members as well as to the director of the chorus.  I felt relieved that this thinning of the herd was felt from the bottom to the top.  I had to realize that these ladies (me included) have:

aging parents,

taking care of grandparents,

wives

husbands,

boyfriends,

girlfriends,

significant others,

children,

pets,

obtaining degrees,

specific demanding professions,

jobs they don’t like but need,

beginning careers,

mortgages,

light-gas-water,

bills due

….most of all, we ALL have

lives to live outside the chorus.

I am thankful my character type is one makes it easy for people to talk to me and vice-versa.  I remember when I first started singing with the chorus, I told an A2 that, “I was really shy around people” and she replied, “If you define shy as jovial, outgoing, loud, charismatic, then yes…you are truly shy.”  She became my friend immediately.

And it came to pass, I finally, got an opportunity to spend some down time and really talk to my Ginga – he is making plans and doing things in the background for us. He asked, “Are you ready to take THIS ride?” I nodded in agreement and I replied, “Oh My.”  I have NEVER been lost for words.

Busy Running In Circles

This week started out busy, thankful I was able to attend church Sunday Morning.  I immediately dashed out to meet the chorus girls at our appointed meet time/location to sing the National Anthem at the 2014 AIDS Arms LifeWalk 5K/Fun Run.  This was such a fun event.  I am truly living outside of my box in 2014.

Once again, I have fallen in love with his womanly looks. That man has great jaw-dropping beauty, he is soo stunning, I see how men are foolishly duped of their money and manhood - #Catfished.  I explain to people that in the days we live in, something that is too fine to your eyes is looking for something just like you…(you can re-read that latter part of that sentence ANY WAY YOU WISH.)

After practice I realized that we have 2 practices then our concert on Sunday.  I think I will need a BIG slice of #Gingabread before then to settle my nerves – and that I did.

Was Alter Call For Naught?

The previous week had been filled with sinful deeds, so I decided to go to the alter and ask God for prayer and forgiveness and bless all who were on my personal prayer list; also for visiting the bakery too many times and liking the #Gingabread a little too much.  I also prayed for my faith in humanity is restored; with all of the ills of the world, nothing too small or large to take to the Lord in prayer.  As I took my seat and repositioned my derrière, I was approached and asked for my e-mail.  I gave it, not knowing what was in store.

I received an e-mail from the church’s Minister of Music; I didn’t read the message (though tempted) during worship service because I wanted to finish hearing the sermon then I had to dash off for the TWCD concert at First Presbyterian Church.  The next day I read the e-mail, I guess his perception of MY alter call was that I was struggling with my sexuality or having gender identity issues (that is how I perceived a portion of his message to me). 

Rotunda of the First
Presbyterian Church - Dallas

Life is difficult; life isn’t easy even if you are dead.  At my current age, I feel the squeeze of aging parents and grandparents, children and grandchildren.  I am the thin slice of bologna that no one cares to take time to savor.

I sing in a women’s chorus, their gender identity/sexual orientation has NO bearing on me.  I have publicly announced it that I am NOT L-G-B or T.  These are lovely and nice women who sing like Angels; it sounds as if God placed blessed golden vocal chords in each of their (our) voice boxes which allows us to sing (make the joyful noise He intended.)  If I am wrong for wanting to be part of something great that He has instilled in Me?  Imma keep praying because it has to get better.

Patty-Cake, Patty-Cake Gingabread Man

The rest of my rhyme is of an adult nature...all I can say is that I am in a happy place after close to 10 years of being single by choice… I digress.  Here is the low down; I have ALWAYS loved freckled men, white, black, red-headed, yellow bones what have you.  I have been privied to “Taste The Rainbow”  All I can say men are men any more explicit than that, my blog may be shut down, if you are over the age of 30, you know what I mean – wink-wink.  I have always had a strong affinity toward white or extremely light-skinned men with red hair and freckles…I am catching the vapors writing this.  It just so happened that God has allowed my path to cross with a high school classmate who is my TOTAL opposite of me but just for me.  Our history is delicately intertwined after long talks at the bar.  I pray NOT to get too lost and that prayer is for him.

Talk about a tired sista...too many trips to the bakery for gingabread makes me hungry and sleepy.  I go to church, chorus rehearsal and work.

I live such a #PlainJane life but I would NOT have it any other way. 

Thanks for taking time to read my blog; I post monthly and if you have comments, please post them below ↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓

Until Next time Auf Wiedersehen!

Struggled Through September

Tension Rising

Sitting beside my aunts
hospital bed.

Very thankful for the Memorial Day holiday – taking time to be off work and away from it all for a brief minute. Lately, I have been carrying stress in my shoulders and back, making it difficult to sing.  With each note resounded, I feel my shoulder creeping up in a shrug position as if “I” didn’t know, HELL I know what is wrong; I have aging parents helping to raise my grandson and I feel like NO ONE hears me.  I am a double stacked sandwich.

I explained my situation to my coworker because he heard me looking for a massage/reflexologist for my neck and ankle.  In his usual BOLD manner he stated, “…you know what will cure all of your aches and pains (as he gyrate his hips in a circular motion.)”  I said boy “BYE!” but he may be on to something (with my right eyebrow raised.)

Excited about my sunflower bloom.

Praying daily for guidance, I took a vacation day to be with one of my dearest and closest aunts as she underwent knee replacement surgery.  It was difficult for my uncle to watch her in a helpless state because she has done EVERYTHING for him and their family for 47 years; I could see the helplessness in his eyes and hear him become more soft spoken almost pianissimo.  This too shall pass and it did, two days later, she was up walking with the assistance of a walker – that made me feel better.

Back In Stride again

Memorizing "THE" music

Rehearsals have resumed full tilt. As I walked in, I felt like I was on an episode of Cheers when I walked in I heard my name being cheered, “Katina!” I am like “You talking to me?” These gals are excited to see me? I responded internally, “…Hell Yeah!!! 2014-2015 season will be a season to remember.”  A bit discombobulated that my personal schedule is really busy with singing

• Group rehearsal for church
• Group rehearsal for The Women's Chorus of Dallas (TWCD)
• Group rehearsal for the women’s ladies day choir at church
• Singing to the homeless
• for the church
• for TWCD
• Hospice/nursing home singing (alternating Sunday/Thursday)
• Church Ladies Day Program
• Volunteering to painting the church home
• Volunteering at the Animal Shelter
• Spreading the word about the church
• Spreading the word about TWCD
• Being the PR person for TWCD

While all of that was going on, I managed to catch the eye of a Ginga (I have a HIGH affinity for Redheaded Men – but I love ALL men.)  We attended high school together, I graduated high school one year before him, I worked with his mom and his mom & I have the same mechanic – 6° of separation; I truly believe in that. You say you have never heard of 6° of separation well here is what I found on Wikipedia…

Six degrees of separation is the theory that everyone and everything is six or fewer steps away, by way of introduction, from any other person in the world, so that a chain of "a friend of a friend" statements can be made to connect any two people in a maximum of six steps.

Katina On A Hot Tin Roof

Explains the week.

I attempted to escape the social mores, greed, superficiality, mendacity, decay, sexual desire, repression, and death, it was only Tuesday.  Doom-N-Gloom sat next to me and said, “I’ll be here ALL WEEK, without you even thinking of me.”  I instantly knew that was the day I failed to give myself my daily positive words of direction to keep away the negatives that bombard me and others daily. I said this will not get me down.  IT got to me this week…I took time to rest to re-organize for next week. Somehow my Ginga kept a smile on my face daily.

Blurred Visual Celebrations

Preparing for 70's fun.

My brother, my nephew, my matriarch and a childhood friend; soo many birthdays this last full week of September – and wasn’t able to celebrate narry-one.  If life lasts and death passes, we will celebrate later on.  I shot hooky from church choir practice on Sunday to attend my first “Pride Parade,” I had the best time ever even after being asked on several occasions from a random female, “Was I #Butch,” and I kept replying, “No, I am Tina?” It didn’t hit me until the end of the parade; my new friend was asking if I were lesbian…@_@ blank stare.  I still had fun anyway.

Weekday night chorus practice was super fun we danced, we sang (not all in the same time in some instances.) I realized that it takes lots of talent to dance and sing; I could do one or the other but not both – that required extra, Extra, extra practice.  My dance partner I-lean and I practiced and practiced and got our choreography down as best as we could.  When I practiced at her place, when I was there, we mostly talked about cats, the chickens out in the coop and wildlife in the backyard.

I sang 5 days out of the seven this week and my voice wasn’t wavering nor did I feel exhausted.  I sang uplifting God’s name glorifying his word in EVERY song I sing.

Shining no matter what.

Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That, I Do

2014 State Fair of Texas parade

I have enjoyed my weekends; they are spent playing pool, singing, biking or simply doing nothing.  Dressing in 70’s attire and singing 70’s music, attending the 2014 State Fair of Texas opening day parade with my grandson – who could ask for anything more.

Final words for September, Always plan for the unplanned and have fun.

Captain's Log August 2014

Return to the grind

The first week back to work, I actually returned on Wednesday…really, August 6, 2014, I attempted to press my physician and head nurse to have me return on the following Monday but there was NO wiggle room.  I simply sucked it up and prepared to return to the doldrums of the pink perfumed alleyways of the “K.”

I think 9 weeks was long enough to be away; to clear my head from the professional negativity that enfolded me.

Right ankle swollen

What a great surprise, who knew that returning mid-week was a great idea.  I spent my morning with IST re-establishing my connection to my port; while he was on my computer, I learned about the NEW voicemail system (I had 10 message over a 9 week period varying from a bill collector to a formulators requiring my know-it-all expertise STAT!)  Obviously no one listened to the message (or to me when I said I was going to be gone for 3 months) oh well.  We have moved into the digital age; all I can say, “Don’t leave me a voicemail message at work; it becomes property of the “K.”

As the end of the work week approached, lots of new systems in place, updated job aids and DAMMIT!...Someone was sitting at my desk in my absence but I didn’t let that bother me…Positive Energy In, Negative Energy Out.

Reality Sets In

Taking a power nap during lunch.

Being back at work, not too much has changed, the new lady is so sweet (she could be my sister), she told me her back story and I told her mine and I immediately put her and her husband on the prayer list – I may be hypocritical at times but I know when t say when.  Still responding to e-mails and answering questions that should have been answered in my absence.  As I scratch my head in disbelief, I guess my D-E-T-A-I-L-E-D instructions, my cell number and home number were not useful enough to get the job done – Whoop-Tee-Doo!

After 10 days, the new lady asked me a question a lot of personal questions regarding the previous tenant and I answered them truthfully and we both breathed a sigh of relief.  I am giving you the abbreviated story – but it for the best…#NoSlander #NoLibel, actions speak louder than words.

I did forewarn the new lady that as the 2014-2015 season of The Women’s Chorus of Dallas kicked into full swing, my earphones would be on, our conversation will be almost non-existent, unless they were work issues.  She was fine, she wasn’t all that talky anyway.

My first full week in back at work, I was totally exhausted every night, my ankle would swell and throb, like something else does.  All I can do is prop my foot and ice it 3-4 times a day.  I enjoyed watching my boss’ face when I had my foot propped and iced on my desk…they must to have forgotten, I like to agitate.

Swinging My Axe & Chewing Nails

That is what my grandparents called back-breaking work or when you have been super busy work – that was me.  I finally got back in the swing of things, I had the new lady helping me get my work done (many hands make light work) and my favorite thing at work to do is to #DelegateTasks and that I did.  She loved being busy and productive at work, that made more time for me to update my blog, upload pictures to the #CaptureDallas site (priceless012) and look at manicure nail designs on #Pinterest (priceless012.)

The left cheek of the dog
bite victim. She was
alright. No Charges

I get a bit SUPER-HYPED EXCITED on the nights I sing with #TWCD because singing makes me feel high and that feeling lasts for about 3 – 4 days.  It is like being in the early #Love stages in a relationship, when you see you significant other for the first time and you get butterflies in your stomach and your heart beats faster, oh how I have missed that feeling. 

HeyLei Comes Home

That feeling was dashed due to a dog bite incident; it would be about 2 weeks before I get that #LovingFeeling back.  My puppy bit someone and I voluntarily placed her in quarantine; needless to say, I was depressed for 8 days and so was she.

I was there in a physical sense but my spirit was so depressed.  In my recordings, I could hear my heavy sighing before, during and after each song – I needed a place to go to keep from crying at home; my third home – The Sammons Center.

The day she was released, I left work early; I bought her a doughnut because I missed her so.

Seasons Of Change

“Five hundred twenty-five thousand

Six hundred minutes

How do you measure a year in the life.”

In a meeting marking up my music.

When rehearsal time came around the following week, I sang with such excitement and power I frightened myself…it felt like the power I presented to my summer voice coach – BAM right from the gut!  I was happy to have my backup security guard back on the scene were ready to tackle the world.

I felt more confident reading the my music with my eyes, pitching the notes in my head and making the sound come out my mouth just right; that is still tricky but it is a neat trick when I do it right.

Due to Memorial Day holiday, we has a week off from singing together, a well-deserved mini-break but who EVER stops singing.

Make sure you post a comment (good or bad but just not #Ugly.)

July 2014 was jumping (literally)

Enjoying Independence Day 2014
near Fair Park.

July 2014 was jumping (literally)

My all-time favorite saying, “I can sleep when I am dead…” several weeks post-boot, I could exclaim Yippee, however my ankle swells as soon as my foot touches the floor each morning. All throughout the day, I pray my specific prayer, “To have the pain subside, swelling to cease and allow me to better than I was before.”  I think that prayer is working.

Rays From Above

I love the way sun-

shine feels on my face at high

noon, good warm feeling.

Trying to find the right note.

I kept myself intentionally busy during this medical leave; I think I needed a mental health break from work. To practice singing ALL DAY everyday after participating in physical therapy – both made me feel so good.  After voice practice, when I returned home, I would stay up past midnight rehearsing songs, tunes warm-ups to make sure it sounded right to me.  I am not a pedagogy but Hunni Chile, I am working it out until I sound more like the rest of them ladies….purty golden voices!

My voice instructor and I.

Having personal lessons over the summer really taught me to see me and hear me, no other voices but mine - The Good, The Bad and The Girl Got Better.  I could hear the shrillness in my voice and learned to breath over it and don’t’ force it.  I also learned; I don’t listen, I mimic very well but don’t listen.  I remember when I was instructed to look in the mirror and open up wide until I could see the back of my throat…I looked in the mirror and internally passed out in laughter.  All I could see was a fellatio session – I’m no Debbie Does Dallas but I know my way around Dallas..lol.  I learned to open the back of my throat to allow air in and slowly release it under the control of my diaphragm.  So when asked to breath from the back of my throat, if you see me smirk you know why – lol.

Conflict during FIFA 2014

July 20, 2014, I chose one of the hottest days to ride my bike but when I rode my bike I sang Sebben Crudele, people stopped and applauded as to how well I sounded. I remembered, “…that I may not be the best but my singing sounds good to someone.”  As I was leaving, a man approached me and it was one of the runners from the Wednesday night Hash runs, they ride bikes the 3^rd Sunday in the month and do the same things they do when they run – Drink…Oh What Fun. Go Belguim!

TWCD Karaoke Night

August 1^st I agreed to go to a karaoke bar with some of the chorus girls, ha ha chorus girls.  I felt like a dork when I arrived but when the music started playing and the libations kept coming, I felt like Donna Summer, a bad girl.

Now that I have returned to work reality has set in…I can hear the drummer beating the drum of the daily grind.  I try not to walk away without learning something…I have learned several tricks using my diaphragm over the summer, I can really go to my corner in the warehouse and belt out some good tunes.

Middle C?

I am so excited about returning this fall, In December, will end my first FULL season with TWCD yet the fall season begins soon.  I am excited to do lip trills (buzzing of the lips), proper vocal warm-ups and New Music.  With all of the flyers everyone has posted around town, I am ebullient to see the returning members and new members.

Enough about me, feel free to post a comment below, until next time.

Week Three and Four:

Blogger

No Ransom was requested after being held hostage at “The Arizona” for two weeks, I felt let down.  Numerous escape attempts were made to crutch the 1/4 mile from my home to the bus stop to ride Dallas Area Rapid Transit ANYWHERE but nothing came to fruition.  That is how desperate I felt to leave my home.  Luckily, I know a guy who set me up with an Uber account and I was able to get FREE rides to weekly night voice class and just about IN-T-WHERE I wanted to go.

Hindsight pays off

I am glad I signed up for voice class is the highlight of my week – I get to sing and to hear/see the zany instructor teach us to sing better, fellowship with some the chorus members I do not normally talk to. I have a standout member her initials are AM, she was able to take me home one evening after voice class, that is true friendship and helping a fellow sister in need.

What I hoped to accomplish from Voice Class in 6 weeks (I needed 600 weeks) 

My goal is to accomplish the following:

·        Find MY voice

·        Projection (not just be loud but GOOD and loud)

·        Be Less Pitchy (like that old lady in church who just sings all over the scale)

·        Staying in tune regardless where I am placed (in chorus and in congregation singing)

All I do is sing and laugh in class, don’t get me wrong; I am learning SOOO much with this instructor.  I also realized that artists have to have a tad bit of craziness in order to cope and relate to others, only a few understand and allow them to perfect their craft, using YOU as the guinea pig with positive results.  With only a few classes left, I ask myself, “Where did the time go?”  I have done soo much during my medical leave. 

Candy Sun

I Am An Overachiever and I Am Proud Of It. 

I can’t say it enough, I am thankful to EVERYONE who called, texted, e-mailed, dropped off complete meals, dropped off raw meat to be cooked, picked me up and brought me home, just let me hangout and ride along, just let me sit in silence…being homebound on the #SickAndShutIn list, unable to move around requires a lot of mental strength. 

I was dreading being off because of how my brother was laid up not being able to do IN-T-THANG for weeks on end, including walking the first two weeks – bearing NO weight on his foot..YiKeS!

I planted sunflowers in/around my yard about a week before I had surgery.  I did that with intention that I could keep busy learning to walk (heel-toe) and to keep me busy and out of the house – so far, it has worked.  I have LOTS of green plants, no flowers yet.

Less Bored 

I henpeck on my piano, I strum my acoustic guitar and I haven’t progressed as far as I would like to be on each instrument but I am happy to keep busy.  I have to keep in mind, I have been walking without a boot for 2 weeks now, I still have a long way to go.

I am active with limitations which includes: 

• Driving (no more than 20 minutes at a time or my foot becomes numb and tingly)
• Walking (no more than 30 minutes before my foot becomes numb and tingly)
• Standing (no more than 45 minutes before my foot becomes numb and tingly)
• Sitting (no more than an hour with my foot propped above my heart before my foot becomes numb and tingly)

I am thankful that I have mobility with slight limitations.  I am working daily to improve the minutes I can do the above without my foot becoming numb and tingly.

Easy PT 

My therapist, RP, is mild mannered and soft spoken – so far.

Reflection: I think to myself, how difficult it to walk, VERY difficult is. I don’t have balance because my great toe and a portion of my foot is numb and tingly.  It makes my gait difficult, I overcompensate with one side versus the other and now both sides ache in different locations.  Simple exercises like picking up marbles between my toes or standing on my tip-toes or writing the alphabet with my feet, makes me break out in a sweat exertion to exhaustion.

I pray daily for any person who has had a disability/amputation/can’t walk because they are VERY strong minded/willed people to overcome something that life altering.

With that in mind, I take it upon myself to push myself daily with foot exercises to become good and eventually better than my current limitations.

End of the summer session 

Feeling Invincible!

I attended my last voice class and it was kind of sad.  No more week night hanging with the girls at Charles’ place.  We shared stories, practiced and sang folk songs, fellowshipped and became better singers than we were 6 weeks ago, I know I feel like a better singer and ready to tackle anything the director has to throw at me – kind of invincible right now.  

Spring 2014 season I was loud, pitchy, no lip-syncing, timid and shy about my voice.  I chickened out of numerous solo auditions because I thought I wasn't good enough but I knew I was – I lacked the confidence to sing/audition one-on-one with the director.

Fall 2014 season, she will get tired of me auditioning for songs…So What, there are others who want to sing but are too chicken to audition – Not Me Sista, You Are Gonna Hear Me Roar! Within my vocal range that is…

I hope have enjoyed my June Journey, I hope to have even better stories in July 2014.

Summer TWCD Voice Class of 2014

Please feel free to post your comments below.

Winding Down To The Slow Down - Foot Surgery

Week One and Two:

May 31, 2014, swimming with my grandson

May ended with a wedding, some dancing, swimming with my grandson, plus any & everything I could think of to do that required me to be on my feet.  Having the foresight that June 1^st and June 2^nd would be the only two days that I would have left to do ANYTHING physical (one of those days was a work day and voice class,) so I was gone from 7:15 am and didn't get home until 10:15 pm. I made the most of both days.

Before surgery, after surgery

After fasting the evening of June 2^nd, I welcomed June 3^rd, the day of my surgery, with unusual calmness.  It was a beautiful sunny day, the sky was blue and I was glad I did not have to report to the hospital until 11 am.  That additional time allowed me to drive my older-younger brother (who is also on crutches) to the VA Hospital to have his cast removed.  Eight weeks earlier, he had had Achilles tendon repair. I still can't figure out HOW can you rupture that tendon stepping off of the curb at the gas pump while pumping gas - the world will never know....

06032014 Last selfie of the day

I drove home with my other older-older brother who would assist me the rest of the day before, during and after my procedure.  On the norm, my only sister would be my “Surgery Road Dog” but this time, she had to work and it was either my mother (who would make my blood pressure elevate) or my brother (who understood that silence is the best medicine)  - I opted for the latter. He has very little text/social media savviness…I was thankful for the help.  We arrived at the hospital ahead of schedule; being the control freak that I am, I drove and made him wait in the car so I could go inside the hospital to make sure I was in the right place.  I got checked in and prepped for surgery by 11:45am.  Then I was wheeled into surgery at 12:02 pm, that was the time displayed on the clock or it could have been 12:10 because the minute hand was on the number 2.  With the Schedule II drugs flowing through my veins, I made conversation with all three of my anesthesiologists (they all were Smoking HOT) before drifting off to sleep singing “Nada te Turbe.”

Legged propped above my heart
watching 2014 NBA Finals

I woke up to find a physical therapist; who looked like the “plump” Kenny Rogers, giving me instructions on how to use my crutches.  I felt like I had been drinking for hours and just wanted to sleep – NOT get up to redress to leave with a 10 pound boot and crutches that I used to close the curtain in the hospital.  Peeping out of my right eye, to block the bright light from hitting my eyes, I could still make smart alec remarks (still under anesthesia), I told therapist when he returned, “I hope you know that I will not retain ANY of what you are describing,” the only thing I remembered was to store my crutches upside down, so that they will NOT fall down.

2 flower arrangements I received.

I received 2 sets of flowers from my employer because they forgot I am allergic to them.

Feel free to post a comment below.