All I Can Do Is Laugh!!

May 2014

05052014 Instead of partying, I am
studying Las Amarillas

The Mother’s Day concert (Cantar) is twelve days away and we (I) still can’t sing Las Amarillas to save our lives…I see the look in the chorus directors' eyes, “YOU BIOTCHES!! AHHHHH!!!!! Are ya’ll really not studying this music on your own?!???!!!?????” Her quiet disposition alerts me to tread lightly; I have only been with the chorus half the year and I require time to "Figure" her out.  Can you say Narcissistic Personality - scarily familiar!

Index cards with Las Amarillas lyrics

Daily, I diligently studied all of the rehearsal tracks; I listened to each of our rehearsals I recorded on my tablet (I could only hear Virginia..a golden voiced blonde).  My co-worker thought she did something to me for me to not talk to her, I explicitly told her, “I am studying 4 foreign language songs and idle conversation is NOT what I need right now, unless you speak fluent Spanish or Arabic?” I didn't mean to curt, but it had to be said.

Las Amarillas written on my hand

I Tell You What, I don’t know if chorus director partakes in adult beverages before/after practice; but I bet I have had enough communion for everyone before/after each practice.  It seems like we would NEVER get it right.  I can hear her saying...THAT IS WHY WE PRACTICE LADIES, TO BECOME BETTER…OBVIOUSLY, Someone is being lied too – LOL!

Inside head rant: At times, I felt like I was singing the right notes but the constant stopping and starting of the music played with my psyche - then a slither of insecurity enfolded me and I began to lip-sync. Then I would say to myself, “Katina, you did NOT sign up with this great chorus to lip-sync, you signed up to become a better vocalist and have to have fun – Thanks Diane S.”  The latter I was true.

2 Reality checks:  1) I was pretty pissed that the good music wasn't downloaded until 2 weeks before our concert – just like at work, I just rode the wave of instability.  2) I was even more pissed that some of the more seasoned members showed up when they wanted, didn't participate much in practice, but maybe they worked behind the scenes…“I” just want to sing.

I stayed really nervous during each practice (since day one - audition), when something went awry, I felt all ears and the chorus director’s eyes were on me. She never smiled and has a soul piercing stare; she is too old/or young to be soo serious.  I am thankful she is committed wholeheartedly to the craft.  I have wandering eyes, a comment was made about that one practice as well as a lean was given to me -  I focus on the green velvety curtains...One thing I learned, “Never Apologize For Singing Off Key– it is a gift!” I hope someone will not come and reclaim my gift ..lol

05112014 TWCD - we set up and breaks
down our own sets.

05112014 My sister and I
on Mother's Day

May 11, 2014:  Our Mother’s Day concert was a success, there were some small hiccups, and do you want to know how we knew…the facial expressions and changing chameleon colors our chorus director displayed.  I don’t know if she used profanity but here is what I would have said, “Yeah, ya’ll F’d up! But imma let ya’ll slide today, some of ya’ll are mother’s and your family is in the audience who wants to see you alive when this is over.”  We performed exceptionally for our family and friends.  But who could NOT tear up or cry, singing great heartfelt songs, a butterfly release and seeing family watch and listen to your craft – Who could ask for more…My sister who NEVER cries - cried; I cried, I never cry.  My aunt, former boss and my sister’s partner all cried.  The BEST CRYFEST EVER!

Two if of the S2's I sing with.
#TurntUp from singing

Sammons Center

An inner group of singers - Vivacious

May 12, 2014:  Our end of season party was soo fun (this was my first) even though it rained cats and dogs and thundered and lightened.  There were copious adult libations, great food, great company and great fun.  I wasn't going to attend because the power was out at my house, I left the dogs in the dark and decided to attend the party, knowing the power MAY be restored upon my return.  I made the right decision to attend, THAT is something I would have regretted.

Turn of events

After being in excruciating pain for 7 months, I finally visited to my podiatrist to have my foot pain addressed.  After months of therapy and wearing orthotics, I will have Tarsal Tunnel surgery to relieve the pain.  I am looking forward to being pain free in the near future.  I had my last mani/pedi the last week May 21^st.  I am keeping this French manicure until after my cousins wedding on May 23, who has a wedding on a Friday???  It was soo much fun, a Happy Hour Wedding, it began promptly at 7pm and I left at midnight. I even danced off my toenail polish.

This past week leading to the end of May has been tumultuous, tenured employees resigning at work, rogue thoughts of being immobile for weeks; who is going to take me here, there, everywhere (I think of Will Varner's song Butterfly).  I know that I have a strong support system.  Normally my sister and her partner accompany me for procedures but this time, I will have my two brothers (one who is on crutches), will be my nurse maids for the first day or so – this should be interesting.

My mission in May was to perform any and everything I could do that involved using my feet; (biking, hiking, swimming [could NOT find a pool owner], walking barefoot [something I don’t like to do] because June 3^rd, I will become #RearWindow.  I teased my brother about being RearWindow after he had foot surgery and being immobile for several weeks; all I can say is read my blog in June, July, August and September…yeah, I will be off that long. 

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Been Soo Long

Saturday May 17, 2014

Wow, I can’t believe it has been 8 months since my last blog post, so let me bring you up to speed – I promise not to bore you.

My many faces over the past several months

September 2013 I sat in a rehearsal with The Women’s Chorus Dallas and WOW these women have angelic sounding voices and most have not been singing that long with the chorus.  I will audition in October.

9/2013 The Fam!

Our family had a mini family reunion with my immediate family, unfortunately everyone was unable to attend but we had fun and paid homage to those who were absent.  My brother flew in from California and my niece flew in from Tennessee (My first time meeting her #NewBFF). They surprised my mom for her birthday.  That weekend we celebrated 4 birthdays, the matriarch, my 2 brothers and my nephew.  We partied and like it was 1999.

9/11/2013 the BIG Chop!

I had a life altering moment. My aunt and a dear co-worker of mine announced they have breast cancer; so being the rebel that I am, I cut my hair to support them.  I felt like ALL OF MY SUPERPOWERS went away.  It really made me see who I really was and to understand that my hair or my clothes did not define me – my character defines me. 

10/2013 My grandson was sitting at that
door.

10/2013October 2013 my grandson and I were in a car accident however, we survived the accident my car was a total loss.  A young pre-teen was driving his ill mother through the neighborhood – ran a stop sign and BAM!  T-boned my car.  All of the GREAT memories I had with WhyteGurl or WG came flooding back and I began to tear up.  I never loved and inanimate object like I Loved My Station-wagon.  That may have been the reason God totaled the vehicle - I put so much love in manmade object.  I had therapy for 8 weeks; not 100% but less pain.

10/2013 They were able to drive home

10/2013 Random DART folks
Halloween

Another low point…I missed an opportunity to audition with The Women’s Chorus Dallas because I did not have a car and public transportation was not very reliable near the rehearsal facility.  Went to therapy 3 times a week for 2 months that was a bummer.  Riding #Dart made me think about lots of things

1.  Being grateful for the little things in life,

2. Never judge people who ride the bus,

3.  Be thankful for everything.

11/2013 @UnkleJef

Red River

Me at the Red River

November 2013 my grandson is doing great, I am still not 100% but I am back rolling.  I rode the bus even though I had a brand new car.  Many people could not understand why I rode the bus.  I call it #BeingGreen. Our company stresses ways to reduce emissions and our carbon foot print – Riding the bus was great for me.  I give thanks for everything I have and just kept on being me. I took a road trip to see my brother who is incarcerated; it was soo great to see him after 2 years.  I had been through numerous trials and being able to see each other made both of us feel better.  I drove to the #Casino, I drove to the #RedRiver, that red dirt it is really red. 

12/2013 HH bday/anniversary
party

December 2013 I spent time with some coworkers (not in my immediate department) they told me I was #Boojee because I didn't come to #HH with them after they have invited me on numerous occasions.  So I went and I have not stopped going.  They are a fun group, they don’t mind cussing, sweating or wearing cowboy boots – My kind of people.  December at work was short I took off a week and a half to re-group and re-set my brain for 2014.

I am still searching for my Amanda Huginkiss (get it A MAN TO HUG AND KISS) for New Year’s Eve, the only male that was close was my grandson.  Happy New Year 

January 2014 2013 was a complete blur, it departed as quickly as it arrived my grandma’s call that #CreekRising.  When you become mature the days seem to fly by more swiftly than they did as a child.

1/2014 Excited about being accepted in
The Women's Chorus Dallas

Late January, I auditioned for The Women’s Chorus Dallas, the group was larger than it was in September 2013 yet the sound was more enhanced than before.  I took my place in the Soprano 2 section (I didn't know where to go) and just stood and listened in amazement. Between songs, I was chatted up by a few ladies (it was the process of getting to know the potential new member) I thought, “Wow, someday soon, I will sound like these amazing ladies.”  Midway through practice, the Newbies were told about the mission of the chorus, outreach programs yada-yada.

Then it was time to audition for the music director.  I thought I was pretty good - WRONG, I kept apologizing for being off key, she said, “Just Sing!”  The music director never smiled, she kept peering at me from above her glasses, asked lots of questions and abruptly said “Thank you for coming, don’t call us, we will call you.”  Gave me her card and showed me the door I was like, “Heifer…WTF = why the face?”  I understand that this is a serious business and auditions are open to invitation only, even if I wasn't accepted, I was honored to audition and sing briefly amongst that group of ladies. #CreamOfTheCrop belonged there…I received an e-mail a few days later, I was accepted YAY!!  Now I REALLY had something to do at least one night a week. 

2/2014 V-Day my mum and Aunt

February 2014 I learned quickly that the music director is musical instructor at a local community college and I think she is some type of musical savant or something.  I didn't want to call her out of her name that would be wrong.  Keep in mind, I just started with this group in late January and we had to memorize a song in 5 Hebrew songs and other foreign languages and several in English.  I can say one thing about this super musical savant director – she knows her shit and has confidence in this group of ladies will stay on top of their shit.  We have a concert the first weekend in March. I am Nervous as hell.   Still no Valentine for 2014.

March 2014 Well in a few days, I will experience my first chorus event and man, I am nervous, I still don’t know these songs but the melodies have been ingrained in my brain, I will just roll with it.  On the evening of the performance the conductor was late, I was like WTF = why the face…She explained she had a medical condition – epilepsy and it caused her some issues earlier in the day which made her tardy – I was cool with that and I said a prayer for her and the group before we began our concert. 

Midway through the first song our tragedy befell us; our conductor had a seizure I WAS IN SHOCK!  The chorus, as professionals do, kept singing and our pianist kept playing without missing a beat.  I was like a deer in the headlight, frozen, head spinning, I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience.  I sang and side-eyed the ladies that were in front of me.  I stood and watched her empty podium throughout the first half of the concert.  I was like crying soo deeply on the inside. I needed a drank!

3/2014 Cathedral of Hope - Dallas

At our intermission, we re-grouped, found out she was fine and was taken home to rest, luckily the following week was spring break and she got some well-deserved time off to rest her brain.  I can’t remember a thing about the facility we sang - #TooTraumatized  Because I have wandering eyes (as she terms it), my eyes became affixed where the conductor stood and where her baton lay – still weeping on the inside.

A few days prior to the group resuming practice, she reached out to us to say she wasn't 100% but much better than the night of the concert.  I wrote back and wept as I responded because I didn't know her personally, like some of the others, but I knew her from working with the group over the past few months – like weeknight family.  I felt relieved but in the back if my mind I was like, “What if it happens again?”, she has someone there to assist, I am thankful for that.

When she returned, she was back to her old self and we had a new set of songs to learn and sing to be ready by Mother’s Day…WTFK = why that face Katina?? 

April 2014 God has certainly given her a gift because as much as we mess up, talk over her and mess up (yeah I said that a second time), I would have cussed someone (everyone) out or told all them heifers to pack they shit and go home.  Her resilience and willpower keeps me returning each weeknight to practice – she is my hero because all I want to do is sing.

4/2014 Riding my bike on my secret
trail...Clearing my mind

Learning 4 foreign language songs and 4 English songs in 8 weeks..Huh?  I really wasn't feeling one specific song, Las Amarillas but it grew on me.  I really liked the Iraqi Peace Song, I even had the man from work tutor me in Arabic for 3 weeks before auditions to help me sing the song.  I wanted to audition but at the last minute when she asked, “Who was auditioning?” I choked, like throwing a basketball at the goal and it doesn't come close.  I could not bring myself to stand in front of her again.  The Soprano 2/Alto 2 ladies were telling me to audition, or I might regret it.  I kept remembering the first audition with this musical savant, she was like, “NO, No, no!” and I was like, “Nah.”  I knew I could sing the song but chickened out.  It wasn't my time yet.  I said next season 2014-2015, I will audition for every song available no Shit!  I am glad I have cycling to calm me down.

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